Dear IML,
I would really like a bra but my mom said I don't need one. I'm 10 and all my friends have them. Please help me!
--Aurora, 10

Dear Aurora,
It sounds like you're really frustrated with your mom for not wanting to get a bra for you, and maybe even with your body for not having the breast size you want. If the reason for your wanting to get a bra is because all your friends have one, then maybe you should consider your mom's point and wait until you need one. Even if you do not need a bra at this point in your life, you will eventually need one. Although it may seem hard, try not to worry about your friends wearing bras...eventually, you'll need one too. However, if you feel like you do need a bra and your mom just doesn't want to accept that fact or realize that you do, then try talking to her. When you talk to her, keep calm and collected so that you seem mature and responsible. Your mom will probably listen to what you are saying more if you speak to her that way instead of yelling and just fighting. Hope it all works out and good luck!
--Joy, IML Mentor

Hey Aurora,
It's hard to see or feel like you're not growing up as quickly as your friends are, but the important thing to remember is everyone's body take a different speed to get to adulthood. While I totally get that you might want to fit in, or just start to get used to bras since all of your friends are starting to wear them, this is one of those areas where moms have experience, so I wouldn't blame your mom for giving you her opinion. Even if you don't need a bra right now, chances are you might need one soon. If it's really that important to you (and honestly, I didn't have a real bra until long after my friends did, and while it sorta feels weird to see your friends with them, I got over it pretty quickly) then I would suggest explaining it to your mom. Maybe be honest with her and let her know that a training bra, whether you need it right now or not, will be helpful in getting ready for the right time, and will make you feel better about yourself. Give it a try, and if it doesn't work remember that puberty isn't a race...and in the end you'll be just as grown up as your friends whether it takes you a bit longer to get there or not.
--Stormie, IML Mentor

Hey Aurora,
Puberty is usually a hard thing for parents to go through. They feel sad when their little kids are growing up. However, most parents know if and when their child needs a bra, and I think you should consider waiting until she thinks you're ready. Ask yourself if you really, truly need one -- because you are uncomfortable or need support -- or just want one because of your friends. One option is to ask your mom for a sports bra. They help you get used to the feeling of wearing a bra and give some support and protection. Even though sports bras aren't "real" bras, you'll still feel like you have one and can say so! I wish you the best of luck! :)
--Alison, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
Okay, I've hit puberty, had "The Talk" and everything, but there is still one problem. I'm now confronting my first case of BO. Yeah, I know I'm ready to start using deodorant, but I can't figure out how to consult my dad about it without the situation being too awkward! I've been trying to think of something for months! Please help me! I get embarrassed about these things easily, even though everybody goes through it and all that. I need a good approach!
--Corey, 12

Dear Corey,
Having your first case of BO can seem really traumatic, but it is really normal and everybody goes through it as you said. I know that it may seem awkward to talk to your dad about it, but he once had to go through it and will probably be able to relate to your situation more than you might think. My parents are divorced, and I was with my dad one week when I got my period for the first time. I was so embarrassed to ask my dad to take me shopping for feminine products since a) getting your period for the first time is scary b) he is a guy and c) he is my dad. However, I just took the plunge and told him and guess what? It really was not at all bad. All the anxiety I had over telling him was just in my head, as it probably is for you. If you do still do not feel comfortable talking to your dad, maybe a friend could go with you to talk to him or go to the store with you to buy some deodorant yourself. Hope everything goes well!
--Joy, IML Mentor

Corey,
This is something that everything goes through; it's totally a part of growing up. In fact, I'm sure your dad went through the same thing. If you're nervous about it, I would just tag along one day to the grocery store or pharmacy or something, and then just pick up the brand you want and say, "Hey Dad, can I get this? I feel like I need it." That way it's not like you have to have a serious talk about it if you don't want to, but you still get the products you need now. Good luck!
--Stormie, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
I really wanna ask my mom when she started her period, so I know when to estimate that I will start mine. I don't know how to start the conversation, and I want it to be when we are alone together...which is never. Any tips?
--Emily, 10

Dear Emily,
It sounds like you're having some communication difficulties with your mom, especially trying to talk to her privately about getting your period. I know that it may seem awkward to talk to your mom about this kind of thing, but she went through it when she was young and can probably relate to you more than you may think. Talking to her privately may make the situation seem a little less awkward for you and make you and your mom feel more comfortable. From what you said, it seems as though being alone with her almost never happens. You might want to consider asking her to talk to you privately and if she's busy, then ask her when it would work out for her. You could even leave her a note somewhere asking her to meet you alone in your room when she has a chance. I hope everything works out!
--Joy, IML Mentor

Emily,
It's smart of you to plan ahead for things like this, and it shows that you're taking a really mature approach to growing up. I would ask your mom if you could have a girls' day to just catch up one-on-one with each other. Go see a movie, go to the beach, the mall, lunch...whatever it is, just go out and have fun. That way, when you're talking, you can just sort of bring it up. Maybe you can start with something like, "Mom, there's something I was wondering because I'm learning about puberty right now...", so that even though you're nervous, you'll still be honest with her. Honestly, your mom is the best person to talk to about puberty, because being your mom her body probably works a lot like yours. Good luck, and remember that it's really a part of life that everyone goes through, and your mom was probably just as nervous as you are now when she was young. At the very least, you may feel closer to her and more comfortable to ask more questions as you continue to grow.
--Stormie, IML Mentor

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