Her name is Princess Blossom Pepperdoodle von Yum Yum.

I think.

It might be Blossom Peppercorn, uh, Provolone—or no, maybe the "Yum Yum" comes first. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Only one thing matters—

She's a Cat.

Oh yeah, one other thing matters too—

She's going to be my Intern!! For a Whole Season! Starting now! Aaaaah!! And I'm stuck with her because she's the cat of the niece of Henry, and Henry's the head of the television station that pays for my show! Aaaaaaaah!!

Okay, but I'm calm. I just ran around my living room sixteen times screaming and knocking over expensive vases and waving my arms over my head like a crazed orangutan, but that doesn't mean I'm not calm.

I'm definitely calm.

See?

I'm Calm!!!!!!!!!

All right, I admit it. Maybe I'm not so calm. Maybe I'm not taking the news so well that I have to work with a cat. But I have a plan. I'm going to make a list of all the good things about having a Cat for an intern.

1. Cat hair everywhere! Hurray!

(Yes, I'm being sarcastic. Let me start again.)

1. I needed help reorganizing my file cabinets.

Okay...good, Ruff...What else...um...Ah!—

2. I'll have lots of first-hand knowledge when it's time to write my new hit horror novel—"Aaah! Cat!: My Year with a Cat."

Okay...I'm up to two good things...what else...um....nope, can't think of anything else. Oh wait! I've got one more!

3. Kitty Litter everywhere! Hurray!

(Yup. Being sarcastic again.)

It's going to be a long, long season.

Always fascinating, always entertaining, always...