"Nope. I don’t think so. I mean, if she/he is a true friend, they'll accept you for who you really are. If not, then I guess they aren't friends…just look for the true pals!:D..”
--Belle
"No, and I don't really think I should. That's outside. Outside means nothing. If you are happy on the inside it WILL show.”
--Kristen, 9
"Yes! There was this one time when this boy I liked hit me at recess (The teacher didn't see). So I was about to cry but held, remembering that he was looking. I went to the bathroom after recess and let it all out. Me and him became bf/gf. We were just about to go out and I told him about the day he hit me and that I cried. And he said he loved me even more for being so truthful!!!!!”
--NonyaBuissness
"I've never changed myself for my crush or my friend, because they like me for who I am and they like me for just being me.”
--Lisa, 12
"I've changed over the summer but my friends are still treating me like the goofball I was in 3rd and 4th (I went to another school when I was younger). What should I do? I hate acting like this!”
--Rhea, 10
"I feel uncomfortable around this boy. Usually at recess, my friends and I play a great made-up game full of mean principals, bratty kids, and talking ostriches. But whenever I see the boy coming, I stop in the middle of my sentence. He's not even my crush. But with other girls, I’m sometimes serious, usually silly, and not afraid to argue over a fact. If they don't like it, too bad!”
--Kiera, 9
"You know how girls sometimes say boys are immature? Well, SOMETIMES BEING IMMATURE IS FUN!!!!!”
--Michael, 12
"No I never will. If a friend or a crush can't accept me for who I am, then they really aren’t a true friend or crush...”
--Angel
"I think I just matured...I mean, I hated my friend anyway, she is rich and rubbing it in my face. So one day I went up to her and said, ‘Janessa, you are mean to me and I don't know if you really are, but I think it's time to end this friendship.’ And she screamed, ‘YES! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! I HANG AROUND WITH HIM ALL THE TIME SO I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE!’ I was shocked. Then she ran off and started kissing my cousin! I was mad at him for forever and didn't speak to him, but he said that he wasn't her BF, she just started kissing him for no reason.”
--Gertiepertie, 11
"NO, but my ex-best friends Janie has. One day she showed up at school wearing a miniskirt and makeup. I was horrified. Worse, she was wearing a short shirt with her bra straps showing. I got so mad at her. She said that she wanted to impress her crush but she never changed so I dumped her, and she still hasn't got him.”
--HeidiB, 11
"You are all so silly! Why would you change yourself? Those things are just labels and it can't deny ALL of you into a certain category. It's what's on the inside, so if you're a nice person, people will like you. Girls that label themselves a ‘punk’ just get laughed at by me. And for the record, no, I haven't changed for anyone.”
--Citrus
"I’m sad to say that I did when I was younger. And sometimes I still do without realizing it now. But I realize now that you should just be yourself around everyone. If you’re trying to impress someone by acting like someone you aren't, then don't. Everyone deserves to see your true self. And if they don't like you for who you are, that's their problem. People should like you for who you are, inside and out.”
--Joy
"I have not changed for someone else…I guess I just grow up and outgrow my friends and make new ones. I have had like a gazillion friends since kindergarten, but whenever I change and move on they get left behind. I have, like, a graveyard of friends in my closet! All the things we shared and stuff...”
--Angie, 13
"Actually I lied to my crush just yesterday. I told him about this novel I was writing, and in it this person gets stabbed in the heart (don't think I’m violent; that was NOT my idea). Anyway, I told him that, and he stepped away from me and looked scared, so I’m like, ‘I’m kidding.’ I wasn't kidding, but I really like him and I don't want him to think I’m sadistic. Also, Jaqueline, I’m in sixth grade, not 5th.”
--MistressOfAllEvil
"Yes, and I accidently do it frequently. I guess peer pressure just gets me sometimes. But I always come back to reality. But I know my best friends like me for the weird, pimple-faced girl I am!”
--Taylor, 12
"No never but... I’ve found out who I really am and no one likes it.”
--Jade
"No, but I would.”
--Miranda, 13
"Hi. NO I have never changed myself for someone… ‘cuz I have a boyfriend already! So I don’t need to change! P. S. This Site ROX!”
--Daphne
"To Jaqueline, age 12: No, I’m in 6th.”
--MistressOfAllEvil
"I don't do this on purpose, but I've noticed whenever I’m around a certain friend of mine, my voice shifts slightly and sounds like hers.”
--MistressOfAllEvil
"Yes, it's sad, but I have. I used to look like a boy, I use to dress in baggy jeans, long shirts that hanged, and dirty sneakers. When I saw my crush smiling and talking to my cousin, I started to dress like her- tight jeans, tight shirts, flips flops or high heals, mini skirts, and all that sort of stuff. I’m still dressing like that, and I have for months. But, I keep feeling guilty. First of all, my crush doesn't seem to act any different around me. And second, I feel awkward dressing like someone I’m not. Yes, I look nicer, but how are people really going to know the tomboy inside of the clothes if the clothes scream GIRLY!?”
--Leah, 11
"I've changed a lot since I got dumped. I am my dark side now. I get really violent, if I write a poem or draw something, there’s death and violence and stuff like that in there. I don't talk to anyone about my feelings, and my parents don't really care. And I’m a girl that's been mistaken for a boy a lot of times.”
--Jinx, 13
"Yes!!! I've changed myself. First I wanted to be really pretty but then I found out it did not matter!!!!!!!!.”
--Hannah, 8
"I don't exactly change myself, but when I’m around certain friends, I bring out different sides of me. Like, for instance, around my friend Melissa, I act funnier and less serious. Around my friend Josie, I act more serious. It depends on the friend. I’m not really changing myself, though, because I really can be all of those things. Oh, btw, Jaqueline, I’m in 6th grade, not 5th (I said I was in middle school, right?), but good to hear I sound older!”
--MistressOfAllEvil
"No, although I might have to if a few of my plans to get the attention of my crush fall though.”
--QueenKitten
"Not much, but yes. He's been my best friend FOREVER!! But then I started to like him more then ‘just friends.’ So I started to dress a bit more ‘girly’ and stopped playing baseball and stuff so much. One day I just couldn't take it!! So I dressed like I normally do and played baseball and started playing tackle football. After tackle football was over we were walking back to the school when he said he liked me!! I froze on the spot. So I was started acting like myself again. We've been together ever since!!”
--Winky, 11
"Yes. I do the impossible with my hair. I buy more high priced clothes to look better in class.”
--Sam, 11
"MistressOfAllEvil, that thing about Disney was kinda weird, but okay. By the way, how old are you? You sound older, like 13, but I think you're in 5th. Am I right?”
--Jacqueline, 12
"I turned into a skateboard punk! Now there are about 5 girls that like me! X-elent. Some people say that I look gothic, but I’m not. Bane the X says goodbye.”
--Jonathan, 12
"I would never change for a crush -- if they don't like me as I am, why waste my time? If they don't like me, that's their loss. For a friend, yes, I would change. I'd stop an annoying habit or try a new food or something, just never something dangerous or illegal. Friends that ask you to do something illegal aren't really friends, they are just using you.”
--KStarr
"NEVER!!!! People shouldn’t have to do that to get friends or a boy/girlfriend. I got a boyfriend playing tackle football and baseball!! Don't ever change yourself!! Bye! :).”
--Anonymous, 13
"Yes, I have, but now that I’m older and smarter, I really think that you should stick to your own style and forget about everything you're hiding, because it's really hard for someone to hide his or her true self for a guy or a friend, but if he/she really likes you they would accept you for who you are.”
--Anonymous
"Yeah, I guess you could say I've changed. I used to wear my dad's long shirts but now I wear unisex shirts. I used to dress like a total boy! Now I dress like a half-tomboy.”
--KD, 13
"Yea! I once had a crush and he was so cute, but my look was not that good; I had short hair that was on my face, I only wore pants, I was fat, and I always wore long sleeve shirts. I started a diet and wore clothes that are dressier and stylish. I have nice legs so I wore skirts. And my hair was growing out. He noticed, and he always stared at me in class. I thought that he was crushing on me back! The crush went on for four years since fourth grade until my friend finally told him that I like him. I was like four feet away from them and I ran! My friend told me later on that he likes me. When he sees me he blushes! I was worried that he would not like me, but he does. But now I don’t like him anymore because he flirts with a lot of girls! He’s a womanizer and I hate womanizers. I’ve still got the clothes that I bought for me because I want to attract another cute boy and right now it’s me!”
--Aline, 13
"No I haven’t. I try to be myself no matter who they are. So if they don’t like you the way you are they are not good friends.”
--Samantha
"NO!!! You shouldn’t have to change yourself! If the person you like doesn’t like you the way you are, then you shouldn’t like them! I got a boyfriend by playing touch football and baseball with him (which I still do by the way)! Seriously! Don't change yourself! Just be patient! You'll get somebody one day. Love ya, Ty!”
--'Mione, 11
"My crush Jared didn't like me in the beginning of the year but he liked these girls Natasha & Myriah. They wore short skirts, tiny shirts, tight low-rise jeans, and thongs. I thought maybe if I changed he'd start liking me. One day I showed up in a miniskirt. People complemented me so I kept wearing skirts. My best friend Trish asked him if he liked me but he still didn't. I was stupid for trying to change for a guy and I’m glad he didn't like me because crushes shouldn't be just about looks and how u dress, they should be about who the person is on the inside. Bye! :D .”
--Angelique, 13
"Sometimes I want to be in with the crowd. I guess I feel left out at times, but it doesn't help when I change my attitude, or style, because I just keep losing friends.”
--Kiwi
"I heard rumors that my friend Samantha was really spoiled and mean. I dumped her and we got in a fight! We made up, but later on she moved to another school. I haven't spoken to her since.”
--'DW', 13
"I tried to change myself somewhere last year when middle school had started. Everybody had their own ‘group,’ and it was uncool to act like you were a ‘nerd.’ So everyone wanted to hang with the popular people in my grade level to fit in. They dressed in clothes from the stores the popular people shopped at to make themselves likable, and I have to admit that even I tried doing that. But soon almost everyone in the whole school was buying things from those designer stores, and then the popular kids didn't pay attention to us anymore. What I realized was that even if you dress any way, it won't change the way people feel or think about you. What you have to do, though, is to just be yourself and let your attitude shine through. It's more important to be friendly and smart than wasting your money on expensive clothing you don't even need.”
--Annie, 12
"I think Disney is a bad influence on people, but one of my best friends completely disagrees. We have spent an entire sleepover arguing about it, and she says I’m psychotic, but I would NEVER consider pretending to agree with her. We're still friends. I know this sounds corny and outdated but IF YOU CHANGE YOURSELF YOU WILL END UP MISERABLE!!!!!! I know because I did it in fourth grade and I couldn't stand it!!!”
--MistressOfAllEvil
"For a crush, yeah. But I didn't mean to. You know when you're sitting at a restaurant eating and all of a sudden you get an ‘uninvited guest’ if you know what I mean? I can't eat right around him, I can't act right around him, and it’s so hard not too!”
--LeeAnn, 10
"Yeeeeeeessssss I’ve held back my hyperness!!!! Until I couldn’t stand it anymore!!!!!”
--DeAnna, 10
"Geez, I’m old. Anyways, I've learned from experience that you should always be yourself, but sometimes who you are inside changes. There are many different people in your life and they all influence you. Hopefully, it's for the best. Your personality develops because of your environment. In other words, it really depends on who you hang out with. Embrace the change, but never force yourself to act fake all of a sudden. It’s true that people can see right through that and they DON'T like it. Have a mind of your own, but leave it open to new people and new ideas. I know it sounds corny, but be the best you can be.”
--Connie
"Yeah, every time I see or meet a guy that I really like, they always go for my friends. It feels like I’m alone, like no one wants me. And that makes me feel like I’m ugly. My mom tells me that I’m not, but moms are supposed to say that. I just wish that someone will like me for me and not because of my friends !! Please help!!!! Why is that?”
--Mia
"Oh yeah! I spent almost the whole fifth grade year trying to act like a tomboy for this boy I liked a lot. The truth is, I am not a tomboy or a girly girl. I played with him a lot at recess, and I found out some about him. Then he told me he had a girlfriend. A few days after that I asked him if he knew I had a crush on him. He said he already knew! That stinker! Now we are just friends.”
--Amanda , 11
"I just moved and it is hard to get new friends. Sometimes I change the way I act so they will be my friend, but it is not worth it for a friend (or a crush).”
--Melissa, 12
"Yes I have. I wore makeup when I usually hate it, and talked differently (with an accent from Wales!!) and I rolled my eyes more than usual. Eventually, I found out he DIDN’T like me so I cried the night away.”
--Anonymous
"Yes, I tried it and it ruined a lot of my year in 5th grade. I was a new kid and I didn’t know how to act. I met this girl named Jordan and she was really nice. The only thing was that she seemed to expect so much of me. I tried to act like I was all she thought I was, but I realized that Jordan couldn’t be considered my real friend if I wasn’t true to her. I told her about how I changed myself, and she said it was okay. Now, we are the best friends ever!”
--Alexandra, 12
"Well, kinda ‘cause once I saw my crush Max reading a Secret of Droon book so I bought the same book that day after school and brought it to school the next day and he said, ‘Oh I have that book!’ and he showed it to me and we were reading it together and the other girls in my class were jealous! HA Ha for them!”
--Judy, 9
"Yeah, I've changed myself a lot, but mainly just to please myself. I went from the Perfect Gossip Knower to the Shy Quiet Smarty Pants to the Boy Crazed Girl to the Flawless-Shiny Lips and Sparkling Eyes, all the way to the actual ME! Yeah, yeah I know, I’m crazy right? Well face it...The whole world’s crazy nowadays! Hehehe. No offense :D.”
--Anonymous, 13
"When middle school first started I really tried to change myself because I wanted to hang out with the preps in my class. They were popular and I wanted to be friends with them so that would give me a chance to become popular. I'd always dress in pink and acted really girly, but now I realized how dumb I acted back then...I did all that for nothing and still they didn't notice me. Plus, now I've realized how weird I acted when I tried to be all girly on purpose! I'll never change myself again!!”
--Christina, 13
"No! Why should I? I am who I is!”
--Shelby, 10
"Hi there. I changed a lot since I started hanging out with friends who always put makeup on and dress nicely and always do their hair. Before I didn’t care, but now I care about my look so I started doing the same too. And my mum doesn’t like it at all.”
--Sarah, 11
"Um…I used to be more shy. To Jessi: but what if you thought you were you, but you changed inside, and you have to change you on the outside too? You, who? Who, you? Yoo-hoo!”
--Melissa, 11
"Yes I have, actually. I started to wear make-up, and I did more work on my hair and so much other stuff. And it was all for a guy that didn't even like me in the end.”
--Brittany, 11
"Yo, my name is Tammy. I’m going to middle school and worrying would I make lots friends or not. When I went to elementary I had no friends so I’m going to change by wearing more revealing and stylishly.”
--Tammy, 11
"Well, my story is that I have changed my attitude and my emotions. Sometimes I just can’t do it. It’s hard to.”
--Keitha, 13
"Hi my name is Brianna, I just like to use my nickname. Anyway I have changed from a girly girl to a tomboy. I would always wrestle with my brothers and that is how I became so tough and a tomboy. Now I like to play football and soccer and basketball. I am going into 6th grade and I visit my friend that lives a few blocks down from me and she is going to 7th grade and she tells me all about middle school and other stuff about it. She says that on the first day I should look my hottest ever ‘cause I had a boyfriend but dumped him and I will be looking for a boyfriend in middle school. I don’t think that changing yourself is bad if it is really what you want to do, but it is bad if you change it for someone else, ‘cause they want you to. But do you??????????? Cya l8er.”
--Mini, 11
“In 2nd grade I tried to change myself because I was being teased for being biracial. I said I was only black, but then I came out with my true heritage. I like myself today. My skin is the color of butterscotch chips. In fact one of my nicknames is ‘Butterscotch.’”
--Michelle, 12
"I have a real friend named Haeju right now. When I first went to kindergarten there was a girl in my class called Serena. She was really mean and she was also really popular. She had a lot of popular friends but none of them were as mean as Serena. I tried to fit in with Serena and her friends but I just couldn't. There was another girl called Haeju in another class. She was a little bit bossy but she wasn't mean. So then I decided to be Haeju's friend instead of Serena's.”
--Hannah
"Yes. I have changed myself so much, I’m sure no one has changed themselves as much as I did for my friends and best friends. I changed myself so much, but still I had no friends or best friends. It made me feel really bad. I just keep trying!”
--Neha, 12
"I changed myself. I went from being a 14 year old sweet, kind, caring 7th grader to being a bad boy 8th grader in 38 days.”
--Chris
"First off, I’m considered to be strange, creepy, and just plain weird. I don't have ANY friends except for the voices in my head that keep me company. When I was 10 years old, I came to live with my grandparents because my parents were abusive. They were both charged with child abuse, and they're not allowed to see me until I’m 18. Even though I couldn't have been happier to live with my grandparents (I still do, by the way), I didn’t want any of the other kids at school to find out about it, in fear of what they might think. Eventually, they ALL found out, and my grandparents and I moved to another city. It's awful. I don't have friends in my new town because kids here think I’m creepy. No matter what happens, I will NEVER change who I am just so that people will like me. Never.”
--The Shadow, 13
“No. I think it is stupid when people do that.”
--Annie, 10
"I changed by wearing and bringing makeup to school. My teacher called me up to her desk a number of times and asked me what I had on my face. I told her that it was make up. Hey, at least I was honest, lol.”
--Kaysey, 11
"In a way, yes. I used to like hanging out with my friends that like to act like weird, stupid people, and now I’m starting to hang out with my other friends that act all snobbish and think they're popular. But at lunch I sit with EVERYBODY so that's gotta count for something, right?”
--MD, 12
"No way. If you change yourself for a crush or a friend then you are not yourself, are you?”
--Jane, 11
"NO!!! Never change yourself. ‘Cuz I mean, don't you want the person to like YOU not another person? Which is pretty much who you are when you're changing. You'll eventually find a person who accepts you for who you are.”
--Jessi, 13
"Nope, I be myself, and people still like me. Be yourself and let people know who you really are!!!”
--Lucyanna, 11
"In 6th grade, my best friend started to hang out with popular kids. I noticed that she was starting to pay less attention to me, so I changed myself so we could still be best friends. It didn't work. Now I know that if she doesn't like me for who I am, she isn't worthy of being my friend.”
--Kate, 12
"I’ve changed myself by my friends I hang out with. Every year it can be different ‘cause all the time people get new friends, and a lot of things change!!”
--Darc, 13
"Heck no! That's what I’m most against in life. Man! It stinks so bad that people do that. BE YOURSELF AND LET NO ONE EVER CHANGE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
--Katie
"Yes, whenever I get to do something that I can show off on for my crush, I show off. One time I tried changing my whole appearance by wearing make-up and trying to look perfect. Don’t try it at age 11 or under, it’s extremely uncomfortable. 1, because you don’t feel like yourself and 2, if you use make-up at that age it feels really different and really makes you feel like you’re ugly.”
--Brittney, 11
"You should never change how you look or the way you act for a boy/girl. If he/she doesn't like the way you are, then you should look for someone else, he/she is not for you.”
--Ashraf, 11
"Yes! This year in the sixth grade I had to change myself for my ex-best friend, Sarah. She ignored me until I started acting like her other friends. Has that ever happened to you?”
--Kayla, 12
"I changed myself for high school to impress. But after a while I didn't want to become popular, so I let go and tried to get real real friends.”
--Janey, 13
"Not really. I changed my outlook on life, though. I used to not care and considered hurting myself once a month, but ever since she came into my life, it'd never happen.”
--Dean, 12
"I changed when I went with the popular kids. They are so cool! But my friends just don't like it. My friends and I never liked the popular kids. I told them that they should give them a chance. Then I changed how I did things to act like the popular kids, because I wanted to make them think that I was cool enough to be popular.”
--Jennifer , 9
"Yes. That is why I totally don't crush him anymore. I had to be something other than myself for him.”
--Awesome
"I haven't changed because my crush or friend wanted it, but I think they all benefited from it. I picked a good role model, someone that was tolerant and kind, and tried to change myself to fit that personality, because I was kinda mean and used to exclude people. People seem to like me more, now that I’m kinder to them.”
--Maya, 13
"1 time I tried 2 change my appearance for this guy. He wasn't worth it. I discovered that at the school carnival when I saw him with this 7th grader named Casandra.”
--Melissa, 12
"Yes. I sat next to my crush's best bud one day. Before class he told me my crush liked a girl in my class. I asked him why he liked her. He said because she was funny and liked the same things he did. The next day, I made a joke out of everything and started conversations on what I knew he liked. I know he doesn't like the girl I heard about, but I don't know who he likes now.”
--Anonymous, 10
"I tried to get better at math to impress my crush.”
--Anonymous
"In my old school people just ignored me. If I went near them they would just get up from that place. When we had to choose partners for an activity, only one girl would choose me and sometimes not even her. However, I tried to mix up with them and then after 8 months they started fortunately talking with me and sometimes playing with me. Then, after a year, I went to another school where I got good friends at least."
--Sneha, 11
"When I am by myself or with one other person I am loud, crazy, hyper-talkative and very open. But when I am around my friends at school I am afraid that they won't like me for the way I act, so I act quiet and very calm around them and when they ask me a question I just agree with whatever I hear. I don't like being hated. It's just that I see the way they treat people that they hate and I don't want to become them because it would make me more scared of life. I love to hang out with people, I just don't think if anyone knew the real me they would like me..."
--Anonymous, 13
"Well, this boy, his name is Alex, and I changed for him. What should I do?"
--Nicole, 10
"I've tried to lose weight for this guy I'm really crushing on. Like, we used to be friends, and I went on all those fad diets and whatnot. And all that happened is I went from 112 pounds to 65 pounds in 3 weeks. And now I'm losing weight every 2 weeks and I have to go to the doctor's like every day."
--Katherine
"Not totally. One time I wore more girly clothes, but I thought it was ridiculous - just for a guy! Just be yourself, and if he doesn't like you for who you are, forget about him! He's not worth it."
--Michaela, 11
"Sometimes I feel like I don't belong. I am almost 5'7" and I'm only in 6TH GRADE! It is so embarrassing! I know I can't change it, but b-cuz of this no boys my age like me. I'm so pretty and fit and I look like I'm 15! I go out w/ boys like in 8th grade. It's kinda nice sometimes, but I hate it when I go 2 skool in my classes! What do I do?"
--Loren, 12
“No and I am soooo glad. I am proud being me. Trust me: when you try to change yourself, it screws up your life.”
--Olivia, 12
"I have changed myself so that I could get my ex-boyfriend back with me.”
--Brooklynn, 12
“I didn't think my friend Susie had a 'wild' side like me and so I thought I shouldn't do anything 'wild and crazy.' But she has a wild side and so I didn't have to change at all!!!!!”
--Olivia, 12
"In fourth grade your idea of a friend was sticking up 4 u when ppl made fun of u. In fifth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who saved a seat @ the lunch table. In sixth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went up to 1 of those weird kids, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed. Now your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, helps you fight off those who try to bring you down, thinks of you at times when you are not there, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold onto it for just a bit longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, and most of all, lets you know that you will always be loved. That is 2 all my best friends!”
--Lisa, 11
"Hello. I used have a best friend named Nikki. She is deaf. We were best friends for 9 years. She thought I was hateful. I wasn't, and I sent her a Christmas gift and she never thanked me for gift. It is really hurting my feelings. Now I got a new best friend named Kayla. She is 10 and she is homeschooled all her life, and I love her very much. We will get together really soon. Thanks.”
--Emily
"Yes, I had 2 best friends: A girl and I had a crush on a boy, then he 2 timed me for the girl. So she started gossiping about me and he chose her over me.”
--Makeda, 9
"Yes, I have changed myself but not for a crush or a friend…for myself. I was once a shy kid, and I wouldn't talk to anyone. Then in the 5th grade I met some really great kids, and I felt like I should talk to people more. I started talking to people, and now they can't get me to stop! Sometimes changes are good and sometimes they are bad. But don't change yourself for anyone except you.”
--Jen, 12
"Yes I have changed myself for a crush. When I changed, my old friends wanted me back but I said ‘no.’ I even got green contacts to stop wearing glasses.”
--Valerie, 12
"I’ve changed myself…not to say it’s happy! I used to be so happy-go-lucky. Now people say I’m so morbid and can’t take a joke. At least I’m not a freak anymore.”
--Marie, 10
"Kind of. I did change myself, just not for someone else. I did it for myself. Call me selfish, stuck up, whatever, I don't care.”
--Jillian, 11
"I never have changed myself for anyone and I never will. I don’t think makeup, high heels and non-appropriate clothing is something that’s going to get guys to like me. They like me for who I am, and if they don’t, I move on with my life. I think everyone should do that. And it’s very shocking to see 10-13 yr old girls changing for boys. That’s just shocking.”
--Ovania
"Well, not for a friend/crush but recently I matured and found out who my true friends were. And best of luck to you in doing the same (bysies). (^_____^).”
--Woot, 10
"No and why should I? If I’m going to have to change, those people probably don't like me for who I am. It's better if you be yourself.”
--Lili, 10
"NO!! First of all, if you have to change for them to like you, then they're not worth it. Second, if they don't like me the way I am, then that's their problem, 'cause I do, and so do all my friends!!”
--Talia, 11
"No, I think changing yourself for a crush is not right. If the crush sees the person that you are trying to be, he/she won't know the real you.”
--Dani, 10
"At the table I sit at, on the end, it starts the boys. Next it’s the popular girls, then it’s the nerds, then it’s the goths. I hang out with the boys and the popular girls and 2 or 3 boys hung out with us but they just hung because we’ve been friends with them forever. But I would sometimes go hang with the boys because I liked one boy. But just for hanging out with them I got asked out by the boy I liked.”
--Lauren, 13
"No, not really. But there was these girls that were putting on makeup in my class that I told that I would never wear makeup because number 1, I hate makeup and number 2, I could never put it on right. One of the girls said that was all going to change that day. And so they smeared blue eye shadow on me and put lip gloss on me. They said I looked so much better. I thought that was cool but I didn't like how the makeup felt. The boys in my class and the ones that I hang out with never saw me in makeup and said that the makeup creeps them out. It creeped me out too so I got my favorite sweatshirt all blue that day. I’m never wearing makeup again. But at least I didn't change my personality.”
--Director101, 12
"Ya, I have. I don’t like to think about it. I lied and lied and lied to make a guy like me, and after all the deceit, I decided I hated him.”
--Bridget, 11
"I changed myself for a friend because they all hated me the way I was.”
--Jessica, 11
"There is a kid Michael in my fourth grade class and I wanted to be his friend. But he was gross and the other kids said I was not their friend anymore. I changed back to my good old self.”
--Ed, 9
"I’m a vegetarian and animal rightist, and my (former) friend was going on and on about how stupid that was, and how I should cut it out, and how much I needed to get a life. I’m not friends with them anymore. Giving up my beliefs isn't worth it.”
--MissYori
"I tried that once, last year, when I was still in elementary school. Don't try it. It definitely doesn't help. However, if you just change for no specific reason, it's great. That's how I met 3 of my best friends, girls, one of which shared a mutual affection with me until some idiot girl started a dumb rumor. She said that I was bragging about going out. Thank goodness all three of us are still friends. ;)!!!!!!”
--Dean, 12
"Yes! I have changed myself for a crush, then she's my girlfriend. Since I have a girlfriend her name is Nicole a.k.a. my Juliet. I changed my personality and my looks because of her. That’s why I'm sticking with her and every time I come to her house I wear my basketball jerseys and hats. Well I wear them crooked that’s straight gangsta. She really likes me and respects me because of my personality and a little of my good looks. I had a little help to get Nicole to go out with me and her name’s Sarah (friend of mine). Her advice works and of course my parents helped too. SORRY GIRLS I'M TAKEN ALREADY.”
--Russell, 13
"No and I never will. Real friends (or crushes) will like you for who you are and accept you for who you are. Do not change yourself! You will either get heartbroken or disappointed. IT'S SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
--Lili, 10
"No, I never did. But what my friends do and what they like have sort of rubbed off on me. Now I like cooking, even though I used to never like it.”
--Elizabeth, 11
"Yes, but it made sense because I am a great person and I am funny and people love to be around me. Believe me it’s stupid. Don’t do it, just be yourself -- it’s better.”
--Nicole, 13
"Um, well I go to Resviore Middle School and I like a boy known as R.J. I think he's cute so I started to stuff my BRA. And I feel so ashamed now that I even did that!! And I was jealous of Silvia, and Esther!!”
--Alicia, 12
“This one girl tried to change herself for me actually. She is very smart but she became dumb all of a sudden and wore too much makeup and got a rash. I told her, 'You can be my friend without makeup. I like people for what's inside.' Now Greta is like one of my closest friends.”
--Maris, 12
"I never changed but my friend did. In third grade she went to a different school and in fourth she came back and she was different. In fifth she was way different. She is ignoring me. She made a group called the spongie group and did not let me be in it. She let new girls in it that she thought were cool but, we’ve been friends since kindergarten. Her name is Zandy and the people who were in the spongie group are Zandy, Stephanie, Jeanellie, Joselyn, Eliana, Amanda, Alexis, Brittany, and Evelyn. Does anyone think I should be her friend since she changed?”
--Ashley, 11
"I changed myself for a boy named Jason. I started wearing mini skirts, belly shirts, make-up, high heels, and no one liked me except a boy who liked all the girls in my class. Jason came to me and said, ‘Why did you turn into a bad girl? I don't like you now.’ Then I changed back and he told me, ‘I like you now.’ That was last year in 7th grade. Now he is my boyfriend.”
--Katie, 13
"OH YEA!!! I used to wear the MOST babyish clothes that I hated!!! I did not want to tell my parents because I thought they would think I was being ungrateful. One day I got myself together and asked for my summer wardrobe to be like a mix of jeans and non-babyish tees. And she unbelievably said YES!!! Now I am totally into makeup, hair, and style and the guys are diggin’ me!!!”
--Tasha, 10
"I have changed myself for a friend. She said I should like boys, but I hate boys. I just pretend I like them. I wish I didn't. She says she won't be my friend if I don't like them. I’m just confused.”
--Iris, 11
"YES. For my first boyfriend, I started to put on makeup, hung out with other people, spent at least 35 minutes a day on his e-mails, started getting low grades…all because of him. And a month ago he dumped me. I felt so bad, because it hurt. It hurt a lot. And I changed myself just for him. I guess it was all for nothing. So, don’t change urself just for a boyfriend cuz 99 % of the time he'll dump u. And u'll feel as bad as I do. And it's sad cuz I can’t change back.”
--Tiffany, 12
"Well, ever since puberty hit, I've been trying to either hide my figure or show it off a little bit with a little bit tighter tops. And HE still hasn't really noticed me! We still talk in class a lot, but he is like one of the popular boys, and he talks to the popular girls (two of which sit at our table). And the girl I thought he liked wore a decent amount of makeup, but she used foundation, and no foundation is helping my skin. So, I guess I have to wait till I turn 13 for some more changes.”
--Not Telling, 12
"One of my best guy friends is into tomboy stuff and everything having to do with that. Well, I am not exactly girly, but you would not really call me a tomboy. When I’m around him though, he says I have to act like a tomboy or he will not be my friend anymore. He also says some of my friends are too prissy and he is always insulting girly girls. I know it is not right what he is doing but I change myself anyway, because I still want him as a friend, even though he's too controlling. Isn't that weird?”
--MissYori
"I have changed my attitude to some friends.”
--Monserrat
"I changed my talking and stuff just for a crush I have and it was not nice.”
--Simie, 13
“Well, I wouldn't say my friends would want me to change and I have no crush. My parents and some other kids seem to want me to change because of the fact that I am a Goth. But all I can say is this, ‘You nor I can change me into what I’m not supposed to be. This is how I am and you can never change me.’ Don't change for those around you. Be yourself.”
--Tifa
"I have changed myself for a boyfriend and it was the biggest mistake I have ever made!! After I changed my looks and my personality, my friends knew it wasn't me and stopped hanging out with me. With my luck two weeks later my boyfriend dumped me and said that I changed and I did it for him!!!!! I taught myself that if somebody doesn’t like me for who I am they're not worth my time!!!! It is better to have someone hate you for who you are then to love you for who you’re not.”
--Olivia, 13
"I've changed my style a bit for my kinda mean friend Jenny. She dresses all girly and I'm the tomboy type. I wanted to be her friend, so I changed a little. The next day, I wore a headband instead of ponytail, a sweater instead of a t-shirt, and jeans instead of Nikes. Then I figured out it didn't matter. If she was a real friend, she would like me for who I am. So the next day I became myself again, and Jenny liked me the same!”
--Lori, 10
"Yes. When I was in 4th grade, I tried to be as smart and perfect as I could be so my friends would like me. In 6th grade, I found who my real friends are. My real friends let me be who I am and don't try to make me be a certain way.”
--Arianna, 11
"No, if my friends didn't accept me for who I am, then why should I be friends with them?”
--Olivia, 9
“My best friend got mad at me one day and asked him why he said that I’ve changed and that I wasn’t the same person I used to be! I don’t know if I have changed or not!”
--Anonymous
"Hey girls, all I can say is I've had heaps and heaps of experience with guys and friends for that matter, and all the advice I can give you is stay who you are. ‘Cause at the end of the day you cannot change the person you are on the inside and if your crushes or friends don’t appreciate that, then they don’t deserve to be a part of your life. Xoxoxo.”
--Elise
"I changed for a boy that I had a major crush on and boy was he hot!!! Not many people knew me until that day it happened, so here it goes. I wrote a note to him saying if he want to go out with me and he of course told everybody about me and the whole school knew who I was. So I didn’t go to school and played sick for 2 days. On the 3rd day everybody asked me, ‘Did you ask him out?’ and I said yes. They always stared at me like I was a dog or cat and it started to annoy me. I was really upset that he had said no and I was mad and told my BFF that I was changing ‘cause I wore glasses, just never wore them to school, only at home. I wore them and sat in the wrong chair at lunch ‘cause I told him where I sat in the lunchroom. I changed and realized it was wrong. Now he smiles at me ‘cause I am being me and me only, and then he asked me out and this time we are going out as a great couple and being ourselves.”
--Kayla, 12
"NO WAY! I would never do that. If someone does not like the way I am, OH WELL!"
--Christine, 12
"Yes! You have no idea! After a while I didn't even remember myself until I just barely managed to realize what I have left behind."
--Rain Drop
"I try to stay away from people like that, people that judge you based on how you look, not for who you are."
--Sergio
"No, I would NEVER do that. I mean, if I would have 2 change 2 get somebody 2 like me, then that person is NOT worth it. I want people 2 like me 4 who I am, not 4 a person I am trying 2 be."
--Emily, 12
“No, but my friend Sharnelle tried to act differently because she thought I hated black people. We ended up trying each other's 'lives' out. She realized that I was appreciative of all races. P.S: Thanks to her I love her mom's soul food. She says thanks to me she learns that not all white people are hateful.”
--Tishy, 10
“I had a crush on a guy and I would never go out with a guy but he asked me out and I said yes. Now I am accepting any guy asks me out. What do I do if I wanna change back? What if they call me a slut?”
--Jazmin, 10
“One time I had this crush on a guy and I tried to be more athletic and whenever me, him, and the other guys would talk (I'm the only girl on my block) I'd try to relate to what they were talking about. Whether it was video games or something else, I'd just join in. Then one day I put pink streaks in my hair and they just lost it! But you know what? Now I realize you should just be yourself and the whole pink streaks thing? MY IDEA!”
--Martha, 10
"No I never changed myself for a crush or for my friend. It’s very important to be yourself no matter what!!!”
--Britney, 13
"Yes I have! What I did was that I cut my hair and started dressing in really cool clothes, wearing cool hairdos and especially wearing cool shoes too. I also started to make new friends, which made me popular and really happy too. I think you should do that too. Love You!"
--Sheyla, 11
"Yes I have. The girl I like was vegetarian so I became it and that was a big change ‘cause then u have to take iron pills and can only eat certain stuff, but I went through with it because I liked her.”
--Blake, 13
"Well there's this guy I like. How should I act around them and how can I tell if he likes me for sure?"
--Kathleen, 13
“I never have for a friend. Never. IF they can't accept me as I am, then who cares. Besides, my friends like the way I am anyhow. However for a crush I have acted more 'mature' and controlled. Usually I am joking around with my friends or embarrassing them by singing Irish folk songs or making fake voices. But around a crush I act more 'adult' like and proper. Standing straight, acting confident, and stuff like that.”
--Vince
“Yes. I tried changing myself for friends when I first moved. Obviously, people knew that it wasn't the real me and they didn't hang out with me. I then learned why because when you're yourself, people see who you really are, and they hang out with you more. Besides, even though change is good, it's hard to change when you are used to yourself.”
--Basra, 11
‘I'm sort of off-beat. My room has a bunch of weird posters, I never wear dresses, I listen to Sarah MacLachlan and Jewel.... but you know all that. A friend of mine, that stuff just weirds her out. She's not exactly girly but more 'normal,' if you get my meaning. She likes Hilary, canopy beds, preppy clothes, you know. So when I'm around her, I automatically act a little girlier. But you know what? It's fun to be girly sometimes.”
--MissYori
“Well let’s see…I hope so. By sixth grade I am getting spiked black hair. I changed on my own before. I was addicted to getting red or blue SUPER spiked hair and the colors to really show. If I could, I would since it’s cool but my mom said I would look like a punk. Moms! But now I really want baggy black pants which I have a pair of, a black sweatshirt and a white undershirt and now I want black spiked hair. I am turning into a Goth but still believe in God.”
--Samuel, 10
“I'm not sure if I changed myself, or if I just got older. Since I met my best friend Kayla, I act sillier and watch a lot more cartoons on the Internet. I like the way I act around her: confident, happy and eccentric. Before I met her, I was shy and quiet. So I have changed myself for her, but I did it for me too. I like the new me. I am so much happier!”
--Alex, 12
"Yes I have for a friend. I tried to be like them and stuff and I noticed I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t earning nothing from it…then I changed for my mom but mostly for me. I never changed for a guy ‘cause if he doesn’t like u for who u are he won’t ever like u.”
--Lorraine, 13
"Yes, I wanted to do it so I could get noticed and for him to like me. And it worked. But the only problem was my friends didn't like the ‘new’ me. They missed the old me. So I changed back to ‘me’ and I got dumped. He only liked me for my looks and body. And it wasn't worth it. Who will last longer, friends or a boyfriend? After you get dumped is your boyfriend there to cheer you up? Stick to best friends forever. They're FOREVER.”
--Denia
"I want everyone to like me because I never ever had lots of friends, and sometimes I have a crush on my friend boys.”
--Katelyn, 11
"I used to have the perfect best friend but lately she's being bossy and saying mean stuff about people. I changed into a bully too, and it’s the worst mistake I ever made. I will never speak to her again and to all the children who are reading this page, don't make my mistake.”
--Fiona, 10
"I kind of act like I am all that now. I am trying to fit in!!!"
--Alex, 11
"Yeah. When I liked this preppy girl. I'm one of the sporty guys. I turned more popular and left my friends behind but then they forgave me (thank God!).”
--Daniel, 11
"Once I changed. A group of girls acted one way and I tried to be like them, but after a while I gave up because I like just being myself.”
--Yonit, 11
"Totally! I started wearing makeup just because I want to impress not one but 2 guys and I still do. I think they are starting to notice me just a little.”
--Bianca 13
"Yes, all the time, but I'm sick of it. Boys who say they like me and boys who are totaling crushing never ask me out.”
--Rachel
"Yes, I have changed a WHOLE lot for a boy and that’s bad.”
--Angela, 12
"Yeah I did…for my first bf. I went from being Avril and Skye Sweetnam fan to Beyonce and Eminem until August. He was dating someone else, so I went back to little me.”
--Tessa, 11
"I've never changed myself. I just like being myself because I enjoy myself just the way I am. I can't be someone I'm not.”
--Diana, 10
"I have changed myself for a crush because I would have wondered if she would like rap music. So I became a rapper. Well, I'm keeping it a secret, I don't know if she likes rappers.”
--Russell, 12
"I have never changed myself. If my friend or crush can't accept me for who I am, they are not my friends."
--Emma, 11
"I don't ever remember changing myself for someone to like me. If they don't like me in the first place, that is too bad."
--Olivia, 12
“Yes! I really liked a boy so I tried to look prettier but then I realized that he was a pig. I realized that I do look good and I’ve gotten more confident in myself. I'm really popular and I have four boys asking me out right now and I'm loving it very much. Now I don't chase the boys, the boys chase me. There is a dance today and I am gonna look mad good and have a lot of boys pay attention to me.”
--Daphney, 12
“I've never changed for a crush. I HAVE changed for myself (we've all been there)! I never ever want to change for another reason!!!”
--Gina, 9
“I have. When I found out that the guy doesn't like preppy girls. Of course I was preppy. I totally changed. From now on I'm a punk girl and I like being a punk.”
--A, 11
“Yes I have, but it was harder to keep up with style and fashion and stuff. Plus it hurt (my wallet that is). He didn't even notice me so I stopped hurting and became my old self again. Now we are great friends.”
--Katie, 12
“Yes. I tried to stop watching shows that he did not like. But later I found out that he liked the same stuff!”
--Lydia, 11
“I don't really change myself, but I try to get fancier words, and act natural. I put deodorant on, and sometimes spike my hair, but usually I am myself. There is a girl at church I think may have a crush on me, and is 2 years younger than me, and so I just act natural, and stuff, and I look good for God first, then her who I like.”
--Promise
“I've always been mad fun of ALWAYS!! I'm so use to it that I never got hurt by them because that’s just the way my school is. (To make fun of people even if you don't mean it.) But what I realized is they do affect me every day. I always make sure my teeth are clean, my nose is clean, I don't have to big of pants or highwaters, and I even make sure I don't smell. I just never realized I did this until now. It was just automatic and when I really hurt I never show it and when I do my friends don't care...I'm a very good student and get straight A's, well almost...I got one B but anyway...I was told I wasn't very responsible, not even to learn, and that hurt me more then anything!! So every day when I go to school, almost every time I have time to think I always have that stuck in my head! I has hurt me so much and I never showed that much. I never told anyone. I just always felt so terrible inside trying to convince myself that I AM responsible but I can’t ever do it. I've never smiled a REAL smile in a long time!”
--Britta, 11
"I haven't changed myself drastically. But when I would be going to church and knew this guy was gonna be there, I would spend more time on hair, makeup, and clothes."
--Katie, 12
"Well, yes. When I see him, I always act like I'm the perfect girl. I never smile at him because it keeps me nervous. I always act like I'm a grown up when I see him or else he won't like me. I always dress nice and wear makeup so that I can look pretty when he looks at me. I feel weird because of that, but I didn't care."
--Aline, 12
"One time about a year ago in 3rd grade, there was a boy named Sam and I liked him (I still DO like him!!!).I changed the way I dressed. I started wearing make-up. I changed the way I talked. I changed everything about myself. I learned my lesson, because when I changed myself, Sam didn't like me at all. Even worse, none of my friends liked me anymore. My friend Dareian asked, 'Why are you so different?' My other friend Bri said, 'Devin, I don't like the way you are now.' No one liked me anymore. I didn't even like myself anymore. So I went back to the way I was. The only thing that changed was I got older, I got wiser, and I dressed better. That's just because I'm in 4th grade, and I got smarter then. I was in 3rd grade when that little incident happened, and the only make-up I wear now is lip gloss! And when I went back to the way I was, Sam liked me! So here's some advice: DO NOT change yourself. Everything will go wrong and bad, so just stay the way you are, and everything will be perfect."
--Devin, 9
"No way. I don't change for someone else. If I change it's for myself."
--Hermione
"Yes, but it worked. I was really being nice to all the boys and in a second everyone said my crushed liked me!"
--Lucy, 10
"NO WAY! I would never do that for a boy or for friends. I like who I am and if friends or a crush can't accept who I am, they're missing out on something great and too bad for them!"
--Brenna, 12
"No way! If I were to change myself, I would seem happy on the outside, but most likely be miserable on the inside. A crush or a friend should like you for who you are, not for what they want you to be!"
--Taylor, 11
"No, and I am very glad that I haven't. I went to a school dance one day just the way that I was and it turned out that the guy I liked asked me to dance. He said that he liked me for me, and that I should stay like that. He gave me a kiss (LIPS!!!) and departed. We are going together now."
--Anonymous, 12
"NO WAY! I would never do that. Either a boy likes me the way I am or he's not worth my time."
--Jillian, 11
"Of course! I'm doing it right now. I mean my crush is soooooo cute and I have turned into a total girly-girl for him. He kinda notices me now though!!!"
--Erika, 10
"No, it's not worth it. I'd rather have all the friends I have now then change for the hottest guy and him liking me. But of course I'd be happy if he likes me already =D."
--Janelle, 12
"No way! Who would change themselves for someone else?? Well not me because it's stupid!"
--Nikki, 13
"Yes I always do that. I think that it is fun to do all day long. I have done it all day long."
--Chrislyn, 10
"Yes, I have. I still am for this guy who is really cute but I can't say his name over the Internet."
--Ashilgh, 10
“In the fourth grade I changed myself for a crush and it was really not worth it at all. If he (or she) doesn't like you for you, then it's not worth any of it.”
--Krissa, 11
“No, never! I would never change myself just to fit in or make someone like me. If you try to be yourself, you'll find that your friends will look up to you for who you are, not who you'll never be!”
--Anonymous, 10
“Yes, I have and he still doesn't notice me! I realized I'm not being myself.”
--Jordan, 10
"NO, I have not changed for anyone. If they don't like who I am, that's their LOSS!!!"
--Courtney, 11
"Yes I have. Once I had a crush on this guy that everyone liked. Whenever I even saw him I acted weird. Even when I tried not to act weird."
--Destiny
"Sadly yes. I cut my hair WAY SHORT and dressed more 'in style' and gossiped and flirted a lot. Then the guy I liked actually asked me out, but he didn't like the fact that I was all preppy so he dumped me the silent treatment way. Then I changed back to my normal self."
--Alicia, 12
"Yes I have. I used to talk a lot, then I found out that nobody was really paying attention to me. So I changed and now I am quiet and boys like me for who I am."
--Gabrielle, 10
"I used to pretend to be a girly-girl around a friend of mine because she is. I was afraid she might not like me anymore if I wasn't. It sounds weird, but it may have been true since this girl expects everyone to be exactly like her. I pretended I loved Barbie dolls when actually I couldn't hate them more. I hated to be fake though, so now I tell her what I'm really like."
--Anonymous, 10
"I got my hair cut so he would notice me! But it didn't work!!! What a waste!!!"
--Jessica, 10
"No, but I want to for this boy in my class but I can't say who! I really like him a lot!!!"
--Samantha, 11
"No, and I never would no matter how cute the guy, but if he truly liked me, he wouldn't have asked me to change. And if I really liked him, I wouldn't change. The point I'm trying to make is that no matter who likes you and who doesn't, don't ever change who you are. It is tough I know, but always hold your head up high and be you and no one else."
--Rachel(llama), 13
"Umm…I think I haven't. I mean sometimes when you try changing, they still won't accept you. So just be yourself if they like you or not."
--Deaj, 11
"YES. I am mixed between hip-hop, pop, and rock. But I wasn't before. I was a thug and to the boys I was a pretty one too (not to be conceded). N E ways, I liked this boy who wasn't all that cute but it is the inside that counts. He was a punk rocker so I was too. Deep down inside everyone knows that I am just a popular pretty thug. I dumped him because my friends hated me and I hated myself. "
--Alysson, 12
"I think that we feel in order to be accepted by someone we are into, we need to change ourselves to fit what they would see as ideal. I've had to learn the hard way to just be yourself. If that impresses them, then great. If not, then it just wasn't meant to be."
--Jessa
"I would never change myself for a crush because then that person won't know who you are. Just be proud of who you are and you will be able to deal with it. It's not worth it. Just be yourself."
--Beatriz, 11
"Yes and it turned out bad. My friend Eric asked his friend Anthony if he liked me and he said no. I guess I changed myself for nothing. I was so embarrassed."
--Brianna, 12
"I have and I shouldn't have because when I changed, my crush started to hate me. I went back to being myself and he liked me so don't ever change! If they don't like you for you, then they are not worth it!"
--Natalie, 12
"Never change yourself. If someone does not accept you for who you are, then they aren't worth being your friend."
--Kendall, 13
"I sort of have. I dressed with tank tops and mini skirts for this older boy. I thought he was so cute and then I asked myself why I was doing all of this. Then he started to look at me a lot and I changed back to my old self and totally blew him off."
--Angela, 11
"I have a crush on a boy named Sam and he is so cute. I got totally new clothes and I started to wear lipstick. He didn't notice, but my friends did. They were like, 'Why do you you care about what you look like? Stop it!' I tried it for a few more days and he was like, 'Why are you wearing lipstick?' So I decided to stop and he noticed me! Yeah!:)"
--Devin, 9
"Yes, I tried it and it was horrible! I stopped hanging out with my friends because my crush said he didn't like them and I even changed my attitude and that's not cool. Later on I realized that I'd rather just be myself and have guys like me for who I am really and not for who they want me to be. My advice is not to ever change for a crush because you can lose the people you love most and let guys like you for who you really are."
--Emily, 13
"One time I think I changed myself but it was never a lot. It was just a slight attitude change. You know, sometimes agreeing with what my friend liked. Then she started agreeing with the things I actually did like, and it turned out good because I could be myself. In the end, she never wanted me to change, she liked me for my own opinions. I just thought she did. I think it's pointless to change, someone should like you for who you really are, not who you think they'll like or notice."
--Natalie, 13
"Yes but people love the new me. I'm outgoing!"
--Katie
"Yes I have and it actually worked out. I changed from being made fun of constantly to actually having popular friends."
--Debie, 12
“Yup it happens. I changed my life just to be someone’s friend and it happened to be she was just like me and we were both acting different.”
--Fadwah, 13
"I have and it didn't work out. My best friend hated the 'new' me, my parents hated my new attitude and I only wore red, blue, and black for 2 months! My advice is don't try it!"
--Stephanie, 13
"Yes. I changed everything about myself so that people would like me. I was shy and didn't talk that much. I fixed that and now I have a lot of friends."
--Carrie
"No. If a boy or a friend asked me to change I would not because I like myself and I would not change for one person unless it was myself."
--Kristen, 12
"I changed for a boy named Michael. He was a bad boy and I thought he thought I was too sweet. So I stopped being sweet and started taking action and it was a big mistake!"
--Jazmyne, 10
"Last year I started to dress in tighter clothes and higher shoes to make my crush like me. It sort of worked because he paid a little more attention to me but he never did like me. He ended up asking another girl out and they started to date. Two weeks ago she dumped him and I'm now try to make him feel better. Now we talk a lot!"
--Ashley, 13
"Yes, I have and still do have a crush on a boy in my neighborhood. I went from tomboy, beating the boys up, to preppy, dressing up in girly clothes that made him raise eyebrows. He finally told me that he liked me before I turned into a prep. So I changed back and he and I are cool."
--Alexis, 10
"Yes I'm guilty of it. I changed from this quiet shy girl to ‘everyone knows who I am’ girl. I realized that it wasn't me and I didn't like me. I immediately changed back to the real me. I like it better in my own skin if you all know what I mean."
--Taylor, 13
"I've never changed myself because if I changed myself and my crush liked me then my crush would like me for being someone else! So that would have been such a waste of time trying to be someone else when you could be hanging with your friends where you can be yourself!!!"
--May, 12
"I changed because I wanted him to like me and it kinda worked. What I mean is, we had a deal where if he went out with me then his friend would have to go out with my friend. My friend said ok but then after 3 minutes she didn't want to anymore. So then my crush dumped me."
--Jessica, 12
"Every day when I go to school, I'm different than at home. Especially when I'm around some guy I like. Sometimes I freak them out."
--Alexis, 11
"Thank God no, Reisa! Lol! I'm glad I didn't. I wouldn't go change the clothes I like or the things I do just for a friend or crush. I think it would get me stressed out. I can't admit I haven't done it once or twice but believe me, I regretted it!!"
--Alexandria, 11
"When I liked this boy named Josh I died my hair black because he is Goth and I wanted him to like me."
--Brandi
"Yah I have changed myself, but then I let myself be me because I was not going to try to impress someone with somebody I'm not."
--Michael, 12
"When I really liked this guy who just wanted to be friends with me I changed who I hung out with and how I dressed. Then I realized he should like me for who I am."
--Melody, 13
"Yes, I wanted to fit in with my so called friends so I started doing all the things that they did. I finally dropped them because they were getting me into trouble."
--Samantha
"No! I think it's very important to stay true to yourself and if any friend or crush wants to change you then they're not worth your time. No true friend would change you. Just keep that in mind!"
--Tyler, 12
"I have acted differently around all my friends and my crush just so he would like me and he ended up not liking me because of the way I acted. I think it's stupid if you change yourself for a crush. I have acted completely different to get a friend and we ended up becoming best friends so that worked! Lol!"
--Bailey, 14
"Not that I can remember. There is one good piece of advice I can give you Reisa, always be yourself!!!"
--Hanna, 11
"I had to be a prep and I also had to make all A's. My mom was really happy about it but in the end it didn't make any difference."
--Ami, 13
"I would never change myself for anybody that I liked. I think that if they want to like you, you should be yourself."
--Victoria
"I have this friend who I think is cute and I do have a crush on."
--Skyler, 11
"I have tried to change myself for a crush and a friend. It's hard and I just couldn't stand how freaky I had become form now on it's me or me. No changing for nobody!"
--Kristi
"Never. I think if you change yourself for your crush it is a mistake. I feel this way because if you want to make your crush like you, you don't have to change your appearance so he/she can notice you in a way that it makes him/her like you! If you want your crush to notice you, BE YOURSELF! That's all I gotta say."
--Fazilla, 12
"Who hasn't? I mean there are always people that you think are so cool and you want to be friends w/ them. I've done it a lot and let me tell you it only ends up hurting, so try not to. They'll end up stabbing you in the back."
--Serah
"Yes I have. There is this boy I really like and I really changed in hopes that he would like me. I lost weight, acted nicer, and lots of other things. He started to notice me but I've never really said anything to him except hi."
--Ginny, 13
"I have changed myself for someone I like but I don't think that it worked. He doesn't even look at me or talk to me. And plus he has a girlfriend that is sooooooo pretty. So obviously he is sooooo hot!"
--Kaya, 13
"I used to not talk a lot and then I was really shy around some of my friends. I totally changed or they didn't wanna be friends cuz I would never talk. I kinda did when I met my bf but I acted like a big dork and I guess he liked it. Now he thinks it's annoying so when I am with him I don't act like that."
--Lea, 13
"Well, not really but I have changed myself by putting more makeup on for my crush."
--Kayla, 13
"Yes. I changed myself for a friend of mine. She is kinda bad and likes hip-hop music a lot and I turned into that and I like it."
--Simie, 12
"Yeah, I changed myself a lot for a really hot guy named Bryan. I cut my hair, put highlights in it and lost a LOT of weight for him. I even changed my own attitude. He didn't like my new attitude but he did like me when I changed back my attitude."
--Kelly, 11
"No because changing yourself is just like lying. If you lie to your crush then see something you really like and you said you didn't because of him/her they will think you're a total dork."
--Danielle, 11
"I don't change myself. I think that if they don't like you for who you are then they aren't good enough to notice the way you are on the inside. I learned that the hard way!!"
--Ashley
"I admit it yeah, I've changed myself for a crush because I thought he'd like me better if I wore the clothes that were in fashion and wore ‘in’ hairstyles and talked down to other people. It never worked and I made new enemies for no reason."
--Annelise, 13
"No I don't change myself for my friends or my crush. I like who I am and nobody can change me."
--Danielle
"I have changed myself for a guy named Blake and I thought it was true love but to him it was a 'bump in the road.'"
--Brittany, 13
"No because if they don't like you for who you are then they're not worth it!!! Friends are supposed to like each other for who they are and the same with crushes!! You SHOULD NOT have to change yourself!!"
--Emily, 11
"Yes I have. I thought he would like me more but he didn't. You shouldn't go and change yourself for a boy."
--Meredith
"Actually yes. Once my friend didn't like how I dressed and what type of music I liked. So I changed my style completely to look more like her. Everyone thought that I should have stayed the way I was. The point is everyone should like you for who you are, and if they don't like your individuality and style, then you shouldn't hang around them. Not following the crowd is great! Be an individual and stand out in the crowds."
--Lauren, 12
"No, I think that if they don't like me for who I am then they are not worth my time or effort. This guy Brian told me he liked me for who I was and how I acted but I wasn't his girlfriend type. My opinion is that you got to like yourself first before anyone else can like you. Also, if they don't like you for who you are, then that's their problem. Don't change just to be liked or you won't be your own unique individual."
--Jessica
"Yes I have, over something totally stupid."
--Joseph, 10
"Totally, now that I think of it, it's stupid. I don't know what I was thinking. If they don't like you for who you are, then who cares? Someday someone else will!"
--Liana, 12
"Yes. Last year I had to change my whole wardrobe to be in the cool gang with my crush. He liked it, but I didn't. My friend told me to stop acting the way I was and to be normal. I tried being my old self again and I was much happier. It seems my crush liked me that way too."
--Kaylee, 12
"Of course not. I put my friends first and I also wouldn't change for a guy or a friend because maybe they are using you. They might just want you for something else and not for yourself."
--Alexandra
"Yeah, I used to be one of the more popular girls but that wasn't for me. Then I started hanging out with the so called 'misfits' and they were my true friends."
--Shelby, 12
"I haven't but I have thought about it. Some people are just so mean about you being something your not."
--Jessi, 11
"No, because my friend is my crush and he loves me back!"
--Alex, 8
"I have changed myself for a crush. I had a crush on one of my close guy friends in 6th grade. He didn't like me that way and I knew it because he told me who he liked. I changed my whole look and made up stuff that I was interested in to get him to notice me. Of course, it didn't work, but I DID succeed in making myself feel extremely fake. A word of advice: if someone doesn't like you just the way you are, then they obviously aren't worth your time and pain."
--Laura, 13
"No, and I wouldn't ever do that! If someone doesn't like you for who you are, don't worry about them or trying to impress them. If someone is forcing you to change because of certain reasons, tell them that you are proud of who you are. Receiving a boyfriend/girlfriend or a new popular friend is not worth changing who you are at all!"
--Connie, 11
"I have changed myself drastically. Right now I'm losing weight because I think I'm fat and he won't like me because of how I look!"
--Heather
"There was this cute boy at school named Tyler. I cut my hair and started putting on make-up."
--Hally, 11
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